Soothing Sunday: the Love Languages

Happy Valentine's Day! And happy Sunday! I have always been a pretty big fan of Valentine's Day: it's not as if I often had a boyfriend growing up--quite the opposite! I was single for almost my entire life. But I always liked Valentine's Day for the candy, for the cute decor, and for the opportunity for people to love each other! Today, I thought I'd write a little bit about the Love Languages as a themed post for this most romantic holiday :) Have you seen this hilarious demonstration of the love languages where each is related to tacos?! Hah!

Image via Muscles and Donuts.

I can't remember the first time I heard of the concept of love languages. I have never actually read the book, but in premarital counseling provided by the local diocese before my husband's and my wedding, we were encouraged to think about them more carefully. [If you don't know your love language, you can take a quiz here and learn more about yourself!]

The general idea of the love languages is to understand (1) how your partner/husband/wife/boyfriend/etc. feels loved most and (2) how you feel loved most. Basically, if you heard the advice to frequently tell your spouse that you love them (you use words of affirmation), but your spouse actually feels most loved when you give them a hug (physical touch), you won't be providing the love that your spouse appreciates the most if you primarily use your words.

Alternatively, if your boyfriend spends most days changing lightbulbs and making coffee for you (acts of service), but you really wish that he would pick up flowers once a month (gifts), you might not be receiving the kind of love that makes you feel the most content.

I think what was really important in thinking about the love languages was to really, really accept that there is nothing wrong with having a certain love language. And it is helpful to recognize that your partner may be trying to express love even if it is not the love language that you feel most loved with.

For instance, I feel most loved with physical touch and words of affirmation. My husband feels most loved by acts of service and gifts. And it took me quite a bit of time to try to actually give gifts more often. And although my husband is not very touchy-feely, he knows that I really love hugs and he tries to give them more often than he usually would. It's all a work in progress, and it's not like I am good at providing an act of service every day, but learning more about myself and more about my husband is always beneficial.

Valentine's Day flowers from my sweet husband

Sweet vanilla custard rolls baked by my sweet husband. Recipe
from The Nordic Baking Book by Mangus Nielson.

Today's Delights:

• We are picking up take-and-bake dinner from a local restaurant tonight. They have a special menu for the holiday! And I'm so excited.
• I finished a sweet romantic book this afternoon. It was a quick, cute read!
• Last night's SNL episode with Regina King was really funny!

Find something to delight in today! Love, A