Monday Motivation: Priorities

When I was in college, I was in a program that gave us free training in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I am usually unable to immediately recall each of the seven habits, but "Put First Things First" (ironically, it is the third habit) is one of my favorites to put into practice. In the training, we watched a straightforward and very helpful video demonstrating the importance of taking care of first things first. 

image credit: destinationpeach.com

Limited Time, Limited Energy

There are only 24 hours in a day. This quote about having the same number of hours in a day as Beyonce showed up around Pinterest some years ago and definitely rubs some people the wrong way: sure, it's the same 24 hours but she has a hired staff and millions of dollars, so we're talking about apples and oranges. Yes, but it is still literally true that you have the same twenty-four hours in a day as each other person on Earth. 

If you're going to follow health recommendations, about a third of that is unconscious: so we're down to sixteen hours. If you have full-time employment, about a third of those 24 hours is devoted to that job: most days, we have only eight hours truly to ourselves. And how many of us can say I use those remaining eight hours to nurture the things I want to nurture, learn the things I want to learn, and consume only that which I want to consume? Few. More of us--myself, surely--find ourselves at the end of the day unsure of precisely where the time went. Even the eight hours dedicated to sleep do not refresh: they can be spent tossing and turning... worrying and fretting about the hours that should be dedicated to work or personal relationships. Then the eight hours for work is often spent distracted or tired because the sleep hours did not do what I needed them to. Then the personal hours can be absorbed by trying to take care of loose strings from work.

It's vicious.

But if we could take ownership of each segment of time, and utilize the allotted time for the priorities within that segment, it could be life-changing. If you could approach your work time with a set of goals, a set of the first things that need to be handled, you could sign off at the end of work feeling liberated to enjoy your personal time. 

And when you use your personal time, you can have priorities for that time too. Would it be physical fitness? educational experiences? spiritual growth? personal relationships? catching up on some funny television? But would you be proud to say that you spent your personal time taking inventory of your ex's new girlfriend's appearance by stalking her on Instagram? or to say that you made a fool of three people on Twitter by proving who actually wrote that poem someone referenced? or to say that you watched four hours of The Office? And these are also the kinds of things that prevent you from focusing on your priorities and building the life you hoped to build.

How to Choose Your Priorities

From day-to-day, your main priorities with work may change. The priorities may be dictated by urgent requests or looming deadlines. But weighing the urgency/lack-thereof and importance/lack-thereof of tasks can help you decide what needs to be handled first. And postponing the unimportant and non-urgent matters can help you focus on the priorities. But you can also factor in your larger goals related to your career as opposed to the daily management of your position.

The main priorities in your personal life might not change day-to-day, but they will likely change over time. What could the main priorities be? Mental health? friendships and romantic relationships? learning French? training for a triathalon? Ideally, for months at a time, you should continue to care about the same things. But life events like marriage, a new child, moving to a new city (and therefore putting more effort into maintaining the old friendships and cultivating new friendships) can rearrange your first things in your personal life.

I think there are many ways you can choose your priorities. At the end of a day you absolutely loved, think back on what you did. Those people and those activities gave you joy and filled up your energy. When you describe yourself to other people, what do you say are your hobbies and who are your loved ones, and is this any different from the actual ways you spend your time? Do you want to tell stories about your life that are different from your actual life? Can you make those merge? When you were a little kid, what gave you joy? When you were a little kid, what kind of adult did you hope to become?

At this point, for my personal time, I'd like to nurture relationships (with my husband, my parents, and my best friends); I'd like to maintain physical fitness; I'd like to grow spiritually; and I would like to consume more books than television as well as create more than consume. That can look like trying to pick up the phone in my personal time to catch up with a friend rather than scroll Instagram to keep up with complete strangers. This can look like researching new walking trails in my area and going for a long walk in the evening rather than just picking up fast food for dinner. Reciting prayer rather than putting the news on for background noise. And make blog posts, needlepoint, watercolor, or pick up a book instead of binging the Great British Baking Show again. 

If you had to pick three first things for work today, what would they be? Or three first things for personal time today? Do you have a way to discern your priorities? And do you have ways to protect your work time, personal time, and sleep time?

Today's Delights:

• A loved one celebrates a wedding anniversary today;
• I had a long phone call with a loved one yesterday;
• I finished These Beautiful Bones by Emily Stimpson, and I highly recommend it (it inspired this discussion of priorities!); and
• yesterday, we tidied up our main storage closet and reorganized the spare bedroom.

Delight in something today, A