Meditations on Competitiveness

Sometimes, my competitive nature really pops up.

Sometimes, all I want is to be right, or first, or best, or smartest. This urge drove me to be a pretty high-achieving child and teen. 

Somewhere along the way, I think I stopped being so competitive. Part was a little bit of demoralization that came from grad school and job searching. Facing lots of rejection has a way of making you look elsewhere for your worth.

But I kind of miss the drive, and I worry sometimes that I'm far too comfortable letting things slide or giving up on things.

I had a pretty good run in blogging and sticking with Noom. Then--and I'm not exactly sure when--I lost track and fell off the wagon and probably avoided the blog because I didn't want to write when I didn't feel impressive or proud of myself.

This feels a bit more whiney than I intend it to be. I just have had these thoughts bouncing around in my head for a few weeks, and I wonder how I can resolve the concerns.

Are you good at stick-to-it-ive-ness? Do you let stuff slide? Do you get really into something and then just kind of give it up?

What's something you've really stuck with?