Reflecting on the Challenges and Unexpected Blessings of 2020

Reflections on a year like no other

Peonies in my parents' front garden

Has everyone seen the Match.com commercial where the Devil and 2020 (personified) fall in love and have the time of their lives this year? I giggle too much each time I see it, because I think it is so clever. Has anyone else received holiday cards from loved ones with a slightly "Good riddance to this year" vibe? I definitely have, and several of our own cards were signed with a similar sentiment. I do enjoy the jokes about this trash year, but I also tend to vacillate between being thankful for all the good things that happened nonetheless and being just down about the truly sad things that happened this year.

2020 was full of honest-to-goodness tragedy. Loved ones died and we realized that people in certain lines of work are wildly underappreciated. I think it's important to remember a lot about this year because we must learn from it. What a complete waste it would be to get to August of 2021 and forget what teachers, nurses, parents, grocery store workers, daycare workers, delivery people... I could go on... did for us in 2020! The other side of that coin is that we may also forget what some of the institutions that *did not* help us in 2020 failed to do. 

I also know some folks who are suffering losses from 2020 but that are not *so bad* as illness, death, or job loss. People have been missing out on opportunities or celebrations that they'd looked forward to for years. That mourning is real too. I read articles about what's happened to women who have been unable to see fertility doctors for an entire year, and some articles about what children are experiencing in isolation without classmates, friends, and regular school. Plenty of people who still have jobs have had to kind of take their foot off the gas to handle the reorganization of life--particularly working mothers who have had to manage schooling.

I do not plan for this whole post to be a downer. But I think recognizing the horrors of this year, and I think remembering what the lack of safety net can mean for people is important. Having memories of the hard times will help us appreciate the good times. 

The Biggest Delights of the Year

An absolute highlight of 2020 was our wedding. Even though the wedding we had was different from what we'd planned on (#MicroWedding), it was without a doubt the happiest day of my life. There were some specific moments on the day when I really just felt pure joy...bliss. It was wonderful! We took a mini-moon to an AirBNB in the Minnesota for a long weekend. We hope to have a chance to take a proper vacation once travel is safer.

My bridal bouquet

Outside our AirBNB for our mini-moon in Minnesota

A blessing of 2020 was also a lot more time with family, which may seem counter-intuitive. Back in March, I moved in with my parents rather than stay in my one-bedroom apartment--and so that our 'pod' could include each other. This amount of time with my parents is something I hadn't experienced since high school. It was an absolute blessing.

I threw myself into some *slow* hobbies this year. Within the first couple days of quarantine, I'd opened a 1000-piece puzzle I'd had for months, and finished it. I also did some cross-stitching and sewing (some of which I used my mother's ancient Singer machine for). Included in this is the huge amount of home cooking I did this year. Although we tried to support local restaurants by ordering takeout at least once a week, my lack of commute freed up time to cook slower meals even on a weeknight.

The first cross-stitch I did--it came from a kit

Apron I sewed on my Mom's old Singer machine

Puzzle I finished in quarantine

Some of my favorite cooking/baking creations of the year: lemon meringue pie; pecan sticky rolls; a no-leavening apple cake; a moussaka

Freshly baked pecan sticky rolls before they're flipped out

This year, I've also learned the joy of having a pet! My husband has had a cat for a number of years, but we did not live together until after the wedding, so while I saw her a lot, she did not seem like my pet. But since getting married, I've finally had a pet! Strangely enough, I have been so surprised by how much contentment this cute little creature brings to my life. It's definitely not a ground-breaking discovery, that pets are fun, but it's a new one for me. We have put a deposit down for a dog in 2021, so the joy can grow even more!

2020 Reading

I discovered a few new series this year, reread some favorites (some of my favorite anti-anxiety treatment is rereading childhood favorites), but I also did not manage to read anything at all until March of this year. 

What I read this year: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Magician's Nephew; The Horse and His Boy; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; My Family and Other Hazards; Career of Evil; Silkworm; Cuckoo's Calling; The Gifted School; The City Baker's Guide to Country Living; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire; The Silver Chair; The Last Battle; Savage Run; Lethal White; Say Nothing; Majesty; Outer Order, Inner Calm; Why We Get Fat; Winterkill; Trophy Hunt; Destination Wedding; The Guest List; Out of Range; In Plain Sight; Free Fire; Troubled Blood

Some of the Did-Not-Finish books from the year: Party of Two; Breath: New Science of a Lost Art; The Year of Magical Thinking; Sweetbitter; A Winter's Promise; The Switch; The Two Lives of Lydia Bird

2020 Watching

Series/Movies I enjoyed this year: The Queen's Gambit; Soul; Better Call Saul (watched the series for the first time, but haven't finished because portions are not on Netflix); Friday Night Lights (my husband loves this show and I'd never watched it before); and The Crown (have not finished the most recent season, but I've enjoyed the episodes I've watched so far). I also watched plenty of The Great British Baking Show and Britain's Best Home Cook. Those shows are like therapy for me.

Hopes for 2021?

My word of the year for 2020 was "cultivate". I can hardly remember why I chose it, but there are undoubtedly certain things that 2020 allowed me to nurture and grow: hobbies, patience, financial savings by not doing much exciting. I cannot remember if I made any resolutions for 2020, but I'd guess I did not complete many of them!

I think my word of the year for 2021 will be "savor". I hope that in 2021 I savor things. I want to savor time with my husband, parents, family and friends. I want to savor quiet time and busy times. I want to savor tasty foods and fun cocktails. I hope I savor the opportunity to sweat and push my physical abilities. I also plan to savor crowds, air travel, dinner parties, and the freedom to invite people into my home some time next year!

We were able to delight in things in 2020! We can delight in things next year too. Love, A